It may be more difficult than ever to find a healthy line of communication with your spouse. Stay-at-home orders may have caused a rift in your relationship, you may feel more disconnected than you ever have before, and that’s completely normal. You may feel like your partner is not there for you as much as they used to be. Anger, frustration, fear, and irritation are a regular thing to be feeling during uncertain times such as these.
That being said, don’t let the fear of the unknown or small disagreements completely derail all of the hard work you both have put into your marriage so far! You two have been through so much! Hell and high water, you two have made it through season after season on top! What could stand in your way now? We are just here to remind you, just like a well-oiled machine, your relationship takes maintenance.
Today we are going to talk about ways to maintain a healthy and strong marriage. We will also be recommending some foundational practices that can help you grow closer together! If you feel your communication has been lacking, be sure to read on.
Here are our best tips on strengthening your communication skills in your relationship!
Step-By-Step Guide on Communication in Your Marriage
1. Learn Proper Conflict Resolution
The inevitable, scary word: Conflict. The long avoided, even buried, topics that are seemingly recurring. Studies have shown that up to 69% of conflicts in relationships are just that. The same topics that continue to come up if not handled well the first time they surface.
Let’s learn to handle those disagreements head-on with some nifty tools.
Many studies have been conducted on relationships of all types, and the thing that always seemed to work the best for couples handling conflict was to handle conflict gently. It may seem impossible to avoid, but the escalation between the two of you will not help the situation at all. The second you raise your tone, your spouse will reciprocate, leading to a cycle of who can be the loudest.
Try softening your approach when bringing up a topic you know may push the buttons of your spouse. Maybe even give them a heads up if you want to talk about something you know might be a difficult conversation to stay on the same page on. This leads us to our second tip!
2. Plan Important Conversations Beforehand
You call your spouse right after you get off work, and you blindside them with an important topic. After a long day, no one wants to be caught off guard with an important topic of conversation. Instead, approach your spouse with a question, a simple, “When is a good time for you to talk about (insert your topic of conversation here) with me?”
No one works well when they feel attacked. Even though you two are in a partnership, that does not always mean that the other person is always in a good frame of mind to handle that deep topic of conversation you’ve been thinking about all day. Always give them the benefit of the doubt and respect their time and emotions before you possibly hurt their feelings by coming in too quickly on your defense.
This softer approach will give your partner sufficient enough time to get in the mindset to speak with you, and it will keep you two from entering into this conversation at a possibly emotional time where your feelings could flare up and hurt the other person, or even them hurt you.
3. Learn How Your Spouse Receives Love and Gives Love
One of the most important things you could possibly learn about your partner is how they give and receive love!
If your spouse doesn’t feel affirmed in your marriage because you never point out what they do well, they may shut down, and feel unloved. Or if you just love showering your spouse in gifts, but they don’t see the value in physical things like they would if you just washed the dishes for them instead, you both can feel further disconnected.
Sit down and have a conversation with your spouse about the things that make them feel loved, or unloved. Enter into this conversation with an open mind, and a heart to grow yourself. There is always more to learn on how to be a better partner. This open time of communication is so beneficial to maintaining that consistent line of communication, and it may open up new opportunities for you to surprise the other person with moments where they feel so overwhelmingly known. It may even change the way you two communicate!
Tips on Improving Communication
In Stressful Times, Always Ask Them How They Are Doing, and How You Can Help
This will help them feel seen at the moment and may open up a good moment of communication for the two of you.
If Your Partner Needs Space, Give It to Them
Under stress, almost all of us gravitate inwards into our own shells. Space can be healthy! So never be afraid to ask your spouse if they need some time alone to sort out their thoughts, or to recharge. It isn’t always you!
Pour Into Yourself as Much as You Pour Into Your Relationship
Don’t be so laser-focused on your relationship that you forget to work on yourself. You deserve time to yourself to sort things out. So before you start pointing fingers, look at yourself. The problem might be your own instead of something you think you need to work out with your spouse.
Keep a Consistent Date Night
By setting that intentional time to reconnect and be romantic and close to your partner, it can be exactly what the doctor ordered! Try a date night at home with one of our date night boxes!
Conclusion
Relationships can be hard, and times like these can make things much, much harder. Your spouse is a facet of your support system, they are there for better or for worse. Keeping that in mind, don’t be afraid to tackle those big topics together! Reflect on your time of dating, reconnect to the versions of you from the past and remember all that you two have been through. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint, so have some grace for yourselves!
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