If your primary love language is Words of Affirmation, then your partner’s appreciation and love are best affirmed to you through words (makes sense, right?). You feel love when your partner tells you how attractive you look or when they say how proud of you they are after you accomplish something. On the flip-side, for people with this as their primary language, insults or negative comments may cut a little deeper.
In this post, we’ll explain the Words of Affirmation love language, take a look at some examples, and give you a couple of date night games or activities to help you strengthen this language!
If you haven’t yet discovered your love language, we’d like to invite you to take this free quiz.
Words of Affirmation Explained
If your partner’s primary love language is Words of Affirmation, it’s important that you regularly tell them how much you care.
The whole “they should know how much I love them so I shouldn’t have to say it” approach won’t fly. They need to hear it from you on a consistent basis.
One of the most important aspects of Words of Affirmation, however, is being genuine with those words. People whose primary language is Words of Affirmation care most about the intentions and emotions behind those words. If you are saying things just to say them, your partner will be keen to that. So, don’t fake it!
You don’t need to be Romeo, professing your love from the street below. Be you. Be real. And if you’re not the best at expressing those emotions through words, now may be the best time to practice, especially if your partner has Words of Affirmation as their primary love language.
Examples of Words of Affirmation
- “I just want to let you know how proud of you I am.”
- “You work really hard for us, and even when things may feel tough, I just want you to know how appreciative I am.”
- “I feel so lucky to have you.”
- “I am here if you need me and I want to help support you in any way I can.”
- “You’re doing such a great job. I’m really proud of you.”
- “Wow! You look so good! I really love the new outfit. It looks great on you!”
Words of Affirmation: Date Night Challenge
Affirmation Popsicle Sticks
Taking ten popsicle sticks each, write the beginning words for different affirmation statements along the side. Here are some examples:
I feel LOVED when you…
I APPRECIATE when you…
I am PROUD of you when you…
The best way to create these beginnings is to start with “I feel [emotion] when you…” Don’t write the answers, just the beginnings. We’ve used a few popular ones as examples above, but don’t be afraid to get a little goofy with your choices (“I feel bubbly when you…” or “I think it’s sexy when you…”) Once you have them written out, place all of them into a cup.
Choose an evening to sit together outside or on the porch. Head to the store and pick up a box of your favorite types of popsicles or ice cream bars (or just wave down the ice cream man and get a couple of Spongebob pops. You know, the ones with gumball eyes that are as hard as a rock).
As you enjoy your frozen treats, take turns pulling the popsicle sticks out of the cup. Read the beginning and then finish the sentence on your own. Start to talk about all those things you love about each other, and create some quality time together!
Affirmations, Fro-Yo Style
No this isn’t an action movie about a martial artist that uses frozen treats as weapons, it’s better! First, find a local frozen yogurt shop (or an ice cream shop that has a lot of toppings) and choose a night to go out.
Before you leave, have you each come up with 4 things you appreciate about your partner, but don’t tell them what they are.
When you get to the fro-yo shop, it will be your challenge to create a cup for your partner using three toppings. Here’s the kicker, the flavor of ice cream and each topping must coordinate with the list of appreciations you created.
For example, if you appreciate that your partner cleans the house, you may choose lemon flavored yogurt because they love citrus scented cleaning supplies.
Or if you appreciate that they killed that bug in the bathroom that one time, you may put gummy worms as a topping.
The flavor metaphors don’t have to be perfect, they are just meant to see what funny combinations you can create based on something things you appreciate about your partner. Have fun with it!
This simple activity can help you practice giving each other different words of affirmation, in a super sweet way!
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The concepts of The 5 Love Languages® have been shared with permission. ©1992, 2015 Gary D. Chapman. All rights reserved.