From the moment you find out that you’re pregnant, the upcoming birth of your child will naturally become the focus of your relationship. Some couples don’t realize how much pregnancy will take over their lives, and they forget that they still need to nurture themselves and their relationship, too. After all, that baby is going to grow up to live its own life one day, but you and your spouse are in it for the long haul. Keeping the love alive and maintaining your relationship is just as important as taking care of yourself, especially during pregnancy when it’s so easy to let the upcoming birth take over your lives.
Obviously, the dynamics of your relationship are going to change, especially once your baby is born. There will be new stressors on your relationship during pregnancy, and your new baby is sure to have a considerable impact on both of your lives. But, if you get into the habit of nurturing your relationship right from the start, these changes could actually make your relationship even better.
Instead of only thinking of yourselves as parents to be, you need to remember that you are a couple. Of course, the pregnancy and your new little one is going to take up a lot of your attention, and they should! Just remember that your relationship needs your attention, too, and it shouldn’t just sit on the back burner. Don’t let the fact that you’re becoming parents come between the two of you. Here are our favorite ways and tips to care for your relationship, and yourself, during pregnancy and beyond.
Plan a weekly date night
If you don’t already have a weekly date night, now is a great time to start. Plan on continuing the practice even after the baby is born, even if you have to have your dates at home for the first couple of months.
Don’t forget about self-care
Between the doctor’s appointments, getting the nursery ready, and trying to keep your relationship alive, it’s easy to forget about self-care. However, self-care is just as important as diet and prenatal care during pregnancy. “Everything a pregnant woman does, from her diet and fitness, to her relaxation and relative state of contentment- also directly affects the child she is carrying,” says prenatal massage experts, the Yinova Center. Take care of yourself so that your body can handle the monumental task of creating a new life.
Communication is key
Don’t forget that all-important four-letter word that’s so important to your relationship: talk! During pregnancy, things happen quickly, and hormones are raging. Be sure to talk about things as they happen. Keeping the lines of communication open throughout your pregnancy and after the baby is born will be the one thing that keeps your relationship secure.
Plan a romantic getaway while you still can
Once your baby is born, planning a romantic getaway is going to get pretty tricky. Check with your doctor before you fly, just in case. Be sure to choose somewhere romantic and relaxing, preferably with room service.
Put your relationship first whenever you can
If you’re like most couples, you are probably in the habit of texting each other several times a day about what’s for dinner, what needs to be picked up at the storm, or reminders about upcoming appointments. While all of that is important, you’ve got to remember to put your relationship first as much as possible. Sometimes, text each other just to say how much you miss one another, or simply to say, “I love you.”.
Mix business with pleasure
Sure, there are going to be a lot of baby-related tasks that have to be completed during your pregnancy, from doctor’s appointments to trips to the baby store. Why not mix “baby business” with a date night and stop off for dinner and movie on your way home? Or, you could even stop off for an al fresco lunch after your ultrasound appointment. The point is to find a balance between baby business and pleasure.
Keep the passion alive
There’s nothing wrong with leaving suggestive messages for each other, or surprising your spouse with a passionate touch or kiss. Flirt with each other. Spend a spontaneous afternoon in bed. Whatever you do, keep your relationship frisky, fun, and adventurous.
Focus on becoming a team
It’s easy to feel a bit isolated from your partner when it’s your body that’s going through all the changes, especially during the first few months when you likely haven’t told friends and family yet. Instead of allowing this to become an issue between you, use this time to grow with your partner. After all, parenting is all about being a team, and the better you can work together, the easier it will be down the road. Learning how to rely on each other is a crucial part of the journey. Talk about every little thing, from your hopes to your fears, and your dreams. Be each other’s comfort through all the ups and down. Nine months go by fast, so take this time to focus on becoming a team.
Instead of allowing your pregnancy to take over your life and your relationship, think of it as a chance for you and your partner to get closer than ever before. Spending time working on your relationship now can only make things easier once your baby comes. Too many couples focus 100% on the baby and completely forget that when Mom and Dad have a good relationship, the baby will be happier too.
Written by Donna Maurer.
Maintaining your relationship doesn’t become easy after birth
Being a parent is extremely challenging and tiring. Arguably more so than the pregnancy. A critical component of a healthy relationship for parents is taking the time to have a regular date night. Many parents believe this to be impossible with how much time children and other life responsibilities take up.
We disagree. We believe there’s always time for date night. We’ve created a guide to help you plan a much needed regular date night schedule. Remember, happy parents means happy children!