We are just going to come out and say it, and we are sorry if anyone is bummed out at this, but the Physical Touch love language is NOT all about sex. Nor does it mean that if your partner has Physical Touch as their primary love language that all they want is sex…
In this post, we’ll explain the Physical Touch love language, take a look at some examples, and give you a couple of date night games or activities to help you strengthen this language!
Physical Touch Explained
The Physical Touch love language is more about intimacy. It could be holding hands, laying your head on your partner’s shoulder, or simply a hug. Just like someone might feel loved after reading a note from their partner, another person may get that same feeling when their partner runs his or her hand through their hair.
In some degree or another, we ALL need physical touch in our intimate relationships, but for those whose primary love language is Physical Touch, it can be even more important.
It can be tricky at times though, mostly because your partner may not understand what they want, and it can create some frustration and confusion. Let’s look at an example from John and Jane!
John’s primary love language is Physical Touch. This past month or so (for whatever reason) as been stressful and he feels a little distant from Jane. Noticing this, Jane tries giving John some words of affirmation and even buys them a little gift, but nothing seems to be working. That disconnect is still there.
Finally, Jane asks John to share what they need. John responds with, “I don’t know…I just feel physically distant from you”. It can be a little awkward for John to say, “I just want some physical touching…but not sex”.
That’s why knowing your partner’s love language and having an open conversation about them is so important, especially with physical touch.
Jane would know that all John needs is a little physical contact. Maybe they create a special movie night and cuddle on the couch or they choose to go for a walk and hold hands. Maybe he just needs a hug.
If you or your partner has Physical Touch as their primary love language, don’t be afraid to talk about it! Ask each other what sorts of non-sexual physical touch you each like best. Physicality can be a very important part of any relationship or marriage so don’t avoid the conversation!
We are going to help you break the ice and cut down any awkwardness with some date ideas below!
Physical Touch: Date Night Challenge
THE GIANT COOKE DATE!
What do we do?
Using $5, buy a roll of sugar cookie dough, a tub of frosting, and a package of food coloring. Choose a night to bake and decorate a giant cookie together.
Yup, there of course are some rules! You must bake together and you can only use one hand each! You must separate the frosting into at least 3 bowls so you can create 3 different colors. You must knead the dough and place it on the pan to bake all using just one hand! Once the cookie is done baking and has cooled, you again must use one hand each to decorate a scene or design on the giant cookie!
These rules will require you both to work physically close together and to work as a team to create the most epic cookie ever!
After you have taken a photo of the masterpiece to share with the world, you can dig in while you watch a movie together!
Why are we doing this?
Umm….because it’d be hilarious! No, we are kidding (although it will be a hoot).
This activity actually has a lot to it. You must work as a team and communicate well to make sure you can successfully bake and decorate your cookie, but it’s putting an emphasis on physical touch. In some way or another, you and your partner will find your hands and bodies coming into contact. So, bring on the oxytocin and cookies!
LET’S GET PHYSI-GOLF
What do we do:
It’s time to play a little mini-golf! But of course, there will be a Crated with Love twist!
Sticking with the physical touch theme, we are going to give you a different ‘touching’ challenge at each hole (challenges below). You don’t need do the challenge with every shot, just the first shot of every hole.
- Hole 1: Cover your partner’s eyes with your hands during their shot.
- Hole 2: Give your partner a hug while they putt.
- Hole 3: Stand behind your partner and place your hand on their’s to help them putt.
- Hole 4: Give your partner a shoulder massage while they shoot.
- Hole 5: Run your hand through your partner’s hair during the putt.
- Hole 6: Find your partner’s “tickle spot” during their shot.
- Hole 7: Run your hand up your partner’s back (like a spider) while they shoot.
- Hole 8: Blow softly on your partner’s neck during their shot.
- Hole 9: Place your hands on your partner’s hips while they putt.
(If you are playing the back 9, restart at Hole 1)
The winner gets a special dessert made by their partner and is the ultimate Physi-Golf Champion!
Why are we doing this?
Yes, we are expecting some pretty high scores due to all the distractions from your partner, but that is part of the fun! Similar to the idea above, we want to show you how powerful physical touch can be. By just adding a few extra moments of touch, you can create a more intimate and playful date between you and your partner, while helping to build trust and a feeling of closeness between you both!
BLINDFOLDED BY THE LOVE
What you’ll need: Blindfold, or some way to cover your partner’s eyes
What to do:
Sitting in the living room, choose one person to blindfold first. Have the person who is not blindfolded bring items to their partner. The blindfolded person must guess what each item is only using their sense of touch. The goal of the game is to try and stump your partner as quickly as possible by choosing an item they cannot guess without looking. The winner gets to choose the next movie you watch together!
If you want to increase the intimacy, have your partner touch different parts of your body with the blindfold on. Try to NOT make it sexual and try to be silent. Have your partner touch your face, your arms, your neck, your hands, etc. What different sensations or emotions do you feel with each? Yes, it’ll probably feel a little awkward to start, but that’s okay!
This activity can really help strengthen trust and intimacy because it blocks out all senses except for touch and allows you to really connect with your partner. As run your hand across your partner’s arm, all of your focus is on your partner and it can offer a much different sensation. When you touch, (especially in the intimate scenario this activity creates) your body releases a hormone called oxytocin, which is known as the “cuddle hormone”. This hormone can help build trust and is important in building strong bonds within relationships. So don’t forget to snuggle!
Ready to dive deeper into another one of the 5 Love Languages?
We’ve outlined all of different love languages and included date night challenges for each! Check them out below!
The 5 Love Languages were created by Dr. Gary Chapman.