Intimacy is important in every relationship, and we are not just talking about physically. We mean true,
emotional connection between you and your partner. Whether you have been together for a few years
or a few decades, making time for intimacy is vital. But we get it. It’s not always easy and sometimes it
can be hard to get back.
As we talked about in a previous post, creating intimacy does require some effort, but it doesn’t have to
be difficult. So, we have a mini challenge for you to do each day of the week together. Each activity only
takes about 10 or 15 minutes, and they may seem a little strange or silly, but they are all geared towards
helping to build that intimate environment.
Monday: Stare into each other’s eyes for 5 minutes straight
For the first minute, have you both keep a completely straight face, no smiling or laughing. For the next
minute, have you both smile at each other. For the third, make a sad face for the full minute. For the
fourth, make an angry face (or as close as you can, you’ll have to fight the urge to smile). And for the
final minute, look at your partner as if you were trying to convince them that you love them more than
anything in the world.
Yeah, it may seem a little awkward, but this activity can build a lot of intimacy. It can be a little
uncomfortable to have someone stare directly at you for 5 full minutes, so being able to look directly
into your partner’s eyes for that long can be powerful and special.
Tuesday: Guide your partner into the kitchen, covering their eyes
Find the room that is farthest from the kitchen. If you live in a two-story house, make sure you stay on
the first floor. Starting in that room, cover your partner’s eyes and guide them into the kitchen, have
them pour a glass of water, and then have them drink it, all while keeping their eyes covered. Then,
switch roles and do it again!
To build intimacy, you have to trust your partner and there is no better way of doing that than guiding
your partner safely around furniture and obstacles while their eyes are covered!
Wednesday: Tell your partner about your insecurities
One at a time, tell your partner about something that you are insecure about. Something that makes
you feel “not good enough”. Be vulnerable. Once you have listened, encourage them as to why they are
BETTER than good enough! Let them know that you love them just the way they are and that you
wouldn’t change a thing about them!
A big part of building intimacy is feeling accepted by your partner. If you partner knows that you love
them just as they are, they will be able to focus more on the emotional connections between you both,
rather than their own insecurities. So never stop telling them how special they really are!
Thursday: What would you put in your partner’s care package?
Have you each take a piece of paper and a pen. Pretend your partner was chosen to go live in space for a
full year! They can only bring one box with them. It’s your job to fill that box with all the things that will
make them smile if they ever get homesick. On your piece of paper, write out a list of 10 items you’d put
in your partner’s box and a brief description why you chose that item. Once you both are done, share
your lists with each other.
There are few better things than feeling understood by your partner! Although it may seem simple,
creating this list will help show you how much you know about your partner and how well your partner
knows you. This mutual understanding is a key ingredient to building intimacy.
Friday: Touch your partner’s face
Sit face to face with your partner. Pick up their hand with one of your hands. Using the other hand,
slowly “walk” your fingers up their arm and across their face and then run your fingers across their face
softly. At the end, reach out and give them a soft kiss. Once you are done, switch roles. Try this once
with your eyes open, then do another round with your eyes closed. What differences do you notice?
If you’ve done the first 4 days, this activity will have even more power. Throughout the week, you
would’ve done activities that help create a more intimate connection with your partner. So, the feelings
you get while your partner runs their fingers up your arm or embraces your cheek with their hand are so
much more than physical. They are built on trust, understanding, acceptance, and vulnerability.
Want more relationship tips and date night activities?
For $2 a month (yup, that’s it), you can sign up for our Date Night Digital Program that sends you two
emails per week: one focused on a relationship topic and one giving you date night ideas that help
strengthen that particular part of your relationship. It just might be the best $2 you ever spend! Click
below to learn more!