How to Keep Romance Alive Post-Valentine’s Day
Each February, I try my best to listen for clues on what a good present might be while also trying to plan something special I haven’t done in recent years. If all goes well, Michelle and I spend a wonderful evening together while a letter or note to her receives approval with a shy smile and a small tear. Another successful Valentine’s Day.
But what now?
I will admit, there was a time when I would ask myself a question after one of these moments (and guys, you might have done the same). How far will this get me? You see, we place so much societal pressure on creating and planning these large, significant signs of romance, that we often move on from those events trying to make it as far as we can. Yet, eventually, the romance that was created on Valentine’s Day will fade and the tank will run dry.
Because of this, many couples find themselves jumping from one, large event to the next. From Valentine’s Day to her birthday to our anniversary, and so on. The effort we put forth to create romance is based upon holidays, special events, and expectations. But why is that? Why can’t we spend every day falling in love all over again. Why can’t every day be Valentine’s Day, and how do we keep romance alive?
So, I thought about it and it really boils down to three problems, all of which are legitimate. It is these three things that typically hinder us from creating romance on a more frequent cycle.
We Lack the Time
To plan something very special for Michelle, it may take me months to coordinate. If I come up with a romantic date idea or a special trip, a lot goes into making sure I have everything planned. Now, this seems normal if I am planning something for our anniversary or for Valentine’s Day. But is it realistic to think that I can spend all that time creating something special for those events plus all the other “just because” moments (pretend for a second that I don’t work for Crated with Love, where it’s my job to come up with date ideas)? The answer is no. It’s not realistic. We all have responsibilities that go a long way in helping to support our relationships, mostly in other facets besides ‘romance’. With that being said, does it mean that more romance is impossible? No.
We Associate Money with Romance
I think it’s funny how we as a society have placed so much importance on fancy meals, luxurious jewelry, and expensive flowers as the cornerstones to the romance within our intimate relationships. Do I think that those things can’t be special or romantic? Absolutely not! But you don’t want to fall into that “romantic hopping” we talked about earlier where you spread those romantic events so far apart because you need time recover monetarily.
We Run Out of Ideas
This can be the hardest of the three to overcome because it involves both other problems. How can we keep coming up with ideas? Taking the time to plan something out is one thing, but what if you just run out of creativity? Or, what if you aren’t creative by nature? It is this problem that leads us toward monodical romance. We choose the same thing over again. The same restaurant, the same activities, rotating with every special event.
When you consider these three problems, is it any wonder why the romance is spread out using those three or four holidays a year? Well, what if you could change that? What if instead of having five or six months between true romantic events, you could create those events every week? What you’d find was a stronger relationship, more love, and a more intimate connection with your significant other. But how?
Here is the part in the blog post where I could bring up Crated with Love and how we offer a service that solves all three of those problems by bringing a romantic moment to your door every month. But that’s not the point of this post. If you want to learn more about us, we would be absolutely delighted to share, but right now, I want to strictly focus on how you can bring those moments back yourself. And honestly, it’s very simple: solve each problem.
Plan the Moments Together
Just because you plan your dates together, it doesn’t mean they are any less romantic. In fact, working together to plan your next few dates will help you save time! Take one weekend and organize everything. Create a list of 50-100 things that would be good to experience together. Separate them seasonally based on the time of the year most appropriate for each activity and do a rough estimate on how much each would cost. Now you have a full year of dates and it took you just one weekend (which ironically in itself could be classified as a date). Here’s the best part, they still all could be a surprise! Switch off planning dates. You will have a full list to look at and switching off will help save time, while keeping the spontaneity alive.
Create a Budget
Not all your ideas will be free, and that’s okay. But instead of spending one expensive evening 4 times a year, create a monthly budget you each feel comfortable using for your dates. For example, you could have a set budget of $50 a month on dating, and you want to do one date a week. Making romance a monthly, weekly, and daily priority can be so rewarding for your relationship. All it takes is a little planning.
When in Doubt, Keep it Simple
If you are someone who has trouble coming up with creative date ideas, the best thing you can do is keep it simple. That doesn’t mean be lazy, it means find simple activities that promote romance. If you are not good at creating an entire scavenger hunt in the park for your significant other, just plan a walk. The most important thing is quality time. Romance will present itself if you give it a chance.
So now that Valentine’s Day has passed, don’t let the romance fade! Make it a priority in your relationship as much as you can. Just like anything in life, the more actively engaged you both are in each other, the stronger your relationships skills with be!