We know it's hard! When you both started dating, you probably couldn't get enough of each other, right? While focus and energy in a relationship can tend to lean towards the couple, rather than the individual, it's so important to ensure that when in your relationship, communication stays clear and both people are taken care of!
In this article, we will talk about how to make time for yourself in your relationship. So feel free to read on if you are hoping for some rest!
1. Set boundaries
Boundaries are crucial for any relationship. If you do not set boundaries with your partner, you can not properly communicate your needs to them. Setting boundaries in a relationship can look like "I like to rest after a long day, so please give me at least 30 minutes after I get home from work to decompress."
Being clear in what you need from your partner (and what you don't need) can save you so many headaches and arguments, and keep you both on the same page!
2. Be consistent
If consistency for you looks like leaving early to grab coffee for yourself before work, or meal prepping on Sundays to free up more time during the week, be sure to stick to whatever works best for you.
While making your bed and clearing the kitchen counter may not seem like the good ways to make time for yourself in your relationship, the less that's on your mind, the better you'll be able to rest when you're finally able to. Build these little chores into daily habits that stick with you, and ultimately make both your lives easier!
3. Be clear about your needs
Imagine this: You are spent, the week was long, and it's also Spring Cleaning weekend. We'd imagine the last thing you may be thinking of doing is deep cleaning your home. In instances like this, let your partner know up front that while you want to help, it may be best to wait until you have more energy to help them. Offer an alternate date in which to pull your weight and assist them with this mutual goal.
This helps your partner better understand your needs and work with you to offer a solution that works for both of you, thus, letting you have that necessary time to yourself that you need for your mental well-being.
4. Set goals
This one is fun because it can include planning a special day for your partner! When was the last time that you planned something special for your partner to do alone? We challenge you to think of something that means a lot to your partner. If you can't think of anything or need a little help, ask them what one thing would they love to do if they had a free day.
This may be getting a massage, getting a manicure, reading at a coffee shop, or watching a movie. Whatever the activity is, make that happen for them!
While your partner is out enjoying their time relaxing, plan something special for yourself as well. Use this time to think of ways you both can set aside time every month for rest goals.
5. Keep a calendar
Schedule one or two opportunities a month that are just for you. Take a drive to somewhere beautiful you love to be, or plan a picnic for yourself with a good book. Think of all the things you enjoy to do in perfect silence, and schedule them out so you have time for yourself!
6. Talk to your partner
Ask your partner how you can both take care of yourselves better. If you both are not eating well, or not making time to exercise or get outside, make sure you both make that a priority! Once you are giving your body the tools to be productive and healthy, you will feel so much better!
Maybe this looks like having a few early nights a week where bedtime is at 9 so you both can get better sleep. Open up the conversation with your partner and see where it goes.
7. Make any expectations clear
If you are in need of rest, but you never communicate this to your partner, they will not have the knowledge to best support you when you need to call that time out. If you need anything, whether it's large or small, you need to be able to tell your partner this so you can take the necessary steps to make it happen.
8. Be kind to yourself
At the end of the day, you are only doing the best you can. If today you need a 2-hour nap and a Venti Starbucks to get you through the day, be kind to yourself. While every day may not be perfect, aim for more good days than bad, and stay positive.
Relationships are hard work, and some of your days together are going to feel like work because they are work. Remain patient with yourself and your partner and use the other tips above to navigate finding time for yourself on a regular basis.
Those are our best tips and tricks to find time for yourself in a busy relationship. You can find more tips on how to get your partner on board with date night, or even how to show your partner you care about them on our blog.