Sometimes it can be hard to understand our partners. They do say opposites attract, but at times, it can feel like they are from a different planet! So how do we really connect with them if they are so different?
That's where the 5 Love Languages can have such a powerful impact on your relationship.
The book that sparked the new way of thinking about love, The 5 Love Languages® by Dr. Gary Chapman, was written in 1995 and has become more popular recently. But what exactly are the five love languages, and what do they mean?
The five love languages describe the way we feel love and appreciation. Depending on your personality, you may feel love differently than how your partner does. Understanding and decoding these different ways of showing love will help take the guesswork out of your partner's expectations and needs.
According to Dr. Chapman, there are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. These love languages are present in romantic relationships, and we even see them within our families, friendships, and leadership roles!
In this post, we will be summarizing the five love languages and how you can include them in your daily interactions with your partner. To read everything, get the book here.
What is your primary love language? Take the quiz!
To find out what your primary love language is, take THIS QUIZ with your partner.
Love Language #1 - Words of Affirmation
The Words of Affirmation love language expresses love with words that build your partner up and make them feel appreciated. Verbal compliments don't have to be complicated; the shortest and simplest praises can be the most effective.
"That dress looks incredible on you!"
"You always make me laugh."
"I love your hair today."
A few words can make a world of difference if your partner has this love language. Compliments and an "I love you" can go a long way. On the other hand, hostile or insulting comments can hurt your partner, and it may take them longer to forgive than others.
If your partner's primary love language is Words of Affirmation, make sure to have an open line of communication with them.
Learn more about the Words of Affirmation love language!
Love Language #2 - Acts of Service
Your partner might have the Acts of Service as their primary love language if their motto is "Actions speak louder than words."
This love language focuses on specific actions that show you care and understand your partner. Cooking a meal, doing the laundry, and picking up their prescription on your way home from work are all acts of service. They require thought, time, and effort.
You should do all these acts with positivity and your partner's ultimate happiness in mind for them to be considered an expression of love. Doing something purely out of obligation or with a negative tone will not mean as much and can even sometimes hurt your partner.
Learn more about the Acts of Service love language!
Love Language #3 - Receiving Gifts
The Receiving Gifts love language isn't necessarily materialistic. It just means that a meaningful or thoughtful gift makes your partner feel loved and appreciated. Something as simple as picking up a pint of their favorite ice cream after a long work week can make a huge impact.
The most important part of the gift is the thought and meaning behind it. The right gift can show your partner that you listen and understand them, making them feel loved and appreciated.
Learn more about the Receiving Gifts love language!
Love Language #4 - Quality Time
This love language is all about undivided attention. No televisions, no
This love language is all about undivided attention. No televisions, no smartphones, or any other distractions. If this is your partner's primary language, they don't just want to be included during this time; they want to be the center of your attention. They want their partners to look at them and them only.
This doesn't mean that you can't curl up on the couch to watch Netflix or HBO; it just means that you need to make sure to dedicate time together without all of the distractions. That will help them feel comforted and appreciated at the moment.
Every time you cancel a date, postpone time together or aren't present during your time together, it can be exceedingly hurtful to your partner as it can make them feel like you care more about other things or activities than them.
Learn more about the Quality Time love language!
Love Language #5 - Physical Touch
The Physical Touch love language can often be confused for purely being sexual. But in fact, it is more about intimacy. To people with this love language, nothing is more impactful than the physical touch of their partner. They aren't necessarily into over-the-top PDA, but they feel more connected and safe in a relationship by holding hands, kissing, hugging, etc.
If Physical Touch is your partner's primary love language, they will feel unloved without physical contact. They want to feel you close by, not just emotionally but physically. All of the words and gifts in the world won't change that.
Learn more about the Physical Touch love language!
Summary of the 5 Love Languages
There are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Each one is important and expresses love in its own way. Learning your partner’s and your own primary love language will help create a stronger bond in your relationship.
Are you ready to find out more about your love language?
Now that you know about The 5 Love Languages®, you should have a good idea of which one is your primary language. Let’s see what yours has to say about you!
What’s your love language? Click here to take the FREE QUIZ or get your copy today!
The concepts of The 5 Love Languages® have been shared with permission. ©1992, 2015 Gary D. Chapman. All rights reserved.