Do you know what your love language is? Knowing is just part of the equation. In order for you to strengthen your relationship using The 5 Love Languages® , you have to know what they mean and how to utilize them. Even more important, you have to really understand your partner’s love language.
To help you, we’ve outlined each love language, what they say about you, and tips and tricks on maximize the love within your relationship using them!
If you haven’t yet discovered your love language, we’d like to invite you to take this free quiz.
What does Words of Affirmation say about you?
In a nutshell: “Sometimes, I just need you to tell me that you love me and that you are proud of me.”
Do: Encourage your significant other by regularly reminding them how much you love them. You can never say “I love you” too often!
Don’t: Dole out undue criticism or be too hard with your feedback. If you make this mistake, be quick to apologize and follow up with encouraging words.
If your partner’s love language is Words of Affirmation
- Send them a letter in the mail telling them you appreciate them.
- Leave them a sticky note on the bathroom mirror saying “I love you”.
- Share something nice they did on Facebook or Instagram.
If your child’s love language is Words of Affirmation
- Hang their art on the fridge and tell them how much you love it.
- Give them a bracelet to wear that says “I love you”.
- Write them a nice note and pack it with their lunch.
If Words of Affirmation is YOUR love language
- Write down what you like about yourself.
- Read through your favorite quotes.
- Repeat self-love affirmations to yourself in the mirror.
What does Acts of Service say about you?
In a nutshell: “You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk? Sometimes I need you to show me you love me through your actions.”
Do: Offer help without being asked. You’ll not only ease their load, but you’ll have extra time to enjoy each other’s company as a result!
Don’t: Go back on a promise or neglect chores. Forgetting to do the bare minimum can add unnecessary stress and be seen as a lack of appreciation.
If your partner’s love language is Acts of Service
- Pack a surprise lunch for the next day at work.
- Make them breakfast in bed.
- Take the dog for a walk.
If your child’s love language is Acts of Service
- Make their bed for them when they forget.
- Let them choose the movie the family watches.
- Cook them their favorite meal.
If Acts of Service is YOUR love language
- Start using a laundry service to pick up your dry-cleaning.
- Order takeout food so you don’t have to worry about cooking.
- Invest in a robotic vacuum.
What does Receiving Gifts say about you?
In a nutshell: “The gifts you give me have meaning. Even something small and unexpected can show me how much you love me.”
Do: Look for unique occasions to give your loved one a gift. A surprise gift is a great way to let them know you were thinking about them.
Don’t: Buy a gift without putting thought into it. A thoughtless gift is worse than no gift at all, so be sure to only give them things that come from the heart.
If your partner’s love language is Receiving Gifts
- Bring them their favorite flowers, just because.
- Make them a playlist or mix CD and explain why you chose each song for them.
- Sign them up for a class they’ve been wanting to try.
If your child’s love language is Receiving Gifts
- Let them pick out one new toy at the store.
- Buy them a new outfit and lay it out on their bed.
- Get them their favorite treat at the grocery store.
If Receiving Gifts is YOUR love language
- Buy yourself your favorite dessert.
- Make DIY decor for your home.
- Have an extra glass of wine.
What does Quality Time say about you?
In a nutshell: “The most important thing to me is spending one-on-one time with you! That’s when I feel your love the most.”
Do: Spend one-on-one time with them. While group activities can still be quality time, there’s nothing your loved one enjoys more than individual time with those they care about.
Don’t: Use your phone or allow for other distractions to interrupt designated quality time. The last thing your loved one wants is to feel that you aren’t listening to them.
If your partner’s love language is Quality Time
- Plan a romantic picnic – without phones.
- Schedule a weekly date night.
- Buy tickets for a movie or play they’ve been wanting to see.
If your child’s love language is Quality Time
- Bake cookies or something else sweet together.
- Play board games or video games with them.
- Take a road trip or overnight trip together.
If Quality Time is YOUR love language
- Take a bath with a fizzy bath bomb or petals.
- Read a book in bed.
- Attend a yoga or meditation class.
What does Physical Touch say about you?
In a nutshell: “Sometimes I just need a hug and a kiss. I love the moments when we are physically close to each other.”
Do: Make a point to sit close to your loved one or give them an affectionate hug. They’ll always be happy to receive a little extra love!
Don’t: Skip out on a hello hug or kiss. Forgotten affection can often hurt the feelings of your loved one so try not to isolate yourself without explanation.
If your partner’s love language is Physical Touch
- Schedule cuddling or snuggling time as a date.
- Take them out for a night of dancing.
- Give them a backscratch or a massage – before they ask for one.
If your child’s love language is Physical Touch
- Let them sit on your lap while you read to them.
- Style their hair for them or help them get dressed.
- Give them a surprise piggyback ride around the house.
If Physical Touch is YOUR love language
- Schedule a manicure or pedicure for yourself.
- Sleep with a weighted blanket.
- Snuggle with pets at your local shelter.
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The concepts of The 5 Love Languages® have been shared with permission. ©1992, 2015 Gary D. Chapman. All rights reserved.