You’ve finally landed a date with the person of your dreams. Congratulations! Now it’s time for the hard part — preparing for the first date. Truth be told, first dates can be hit or a miss. Depending on the level of compatibility and the connection shared, the first date can either be a wonderful experience or go horribly, horribly wrong. Fortunately, there are many tips and tricks to help singles with their first dates. And more importantly, increase their chances of scoring a second!
Here are five first date tips that will help you get a second date.
1. Have a Well-Planned Date
Have you ever tried making a plan with a date, a friend, or a family member and have them respond with, “I don’t care, what do you want to do?” There are few things worse than this type of back-and-forth.
When it comes to a first date, it ‘s important that you’re accommodating to your and your date’s interests. Does she like the outdoors? What’s his favorite restaurant? Using what you already know about them, you can start to organize what you plan to do during the date. If the plan is to spend the day together, start with fun date activities followed by a meal afterward. If you’re not positive about your idea, try picking a more neutral location. While cliché, you can’t go wrong with a movie, a picnic, or dinner at a local restaurant. However, if you’re looking to keep the date more casual and friendly, consider going to a popular coffee shop or a hip bar. The catchy music and crowd will help alleviate any awkwardness or nerves that typically occurs on many first dates.
Keep your budget in mind, but don’t be cheap. If she wants another drink, let her get one. If he wants to order dessert, let him order dessert! Part of choosing the best idea for your date includes being mindful of your budget and discussing it before the date.
2. Dress to Impress
A first date means the first impression — and first impressions matter. Whether you’re a male or female, picking out the perfect outfit for the occasion is essential to how well the date is going to go. Not only will it show that special someone how serious you are about the date, but it will also strengthen your self-esteem. Make sure the outfit you choose reflects who you are and is appropriate for the occasion. You don’t want to be too overdressed or underdressed, nor get stuck wearing something that’s uncomfortable to you.
In addition to picking out a great outfit for the date, you’ll also want to concentrate on other forms of self-care to enhance your appearance as well as your confidence.
Try to refrain from too much cologne. The purpose of wearing cologne is to be detected, not announced. Furthermore, when it comes to your physical appearance, you should focus on maintaining a well-groomed look. Whether it’s a clean shave or a small amount of hair gel in your hair and beard, you’ll want to ensure you’re looking fresh and clean. If your hair is thinning or you’re suffering from conditions like male pattern baldness, consider speaking with your doctor about hair loss treatments and talking with a barber about potential hairstyles that’ll make you feel and look your best.
Go for a natural make-up look. Wearing too much skin or eye makeup can take away from your true beauty and overall look. Secondly, think about styling your hair in a way that works for your locks, maybe down or up out of your face. Try to avoid using too much hair spray or moose or else your hair will feel stiff and crunchy, making it difficult to play with. Finally, when it comes to perfume, less is more. Don’t try to drench yourself in body mists and other fragrances or you, and even your date could run off with a migraine or worse, an allergic reaction.
3. Exude Confidence, Not Cockiness
Confidence is one of the most desirable qualities for both men and women. We all find it to be irresistible. Sometimes though, confidence can be camouflaged by cockiness if not exuded correctly, which is a characteristic most of us can’t stand. For this reason, it’s important to be self-aware of how you’re conveying yourself and how it’s being perceived by your date. You may feel like you have to showcase your successes by showing off the things you have or brag about your greatest life achievements to prove that you’re second-date worthy. But the truth is, the only way a relationship will advance is by being your most authentic self. Once they get to know you for who you really are, imagine how much more impressed they’ll be when they learn about all of your accomplishments!
4. Maintain a Two-Way Conversation
An easy way to ensure that your date doesn’t portray you as self-centered is by maintaining a two-way conversation. Obviously, you’re going to have to talk about yourself on the first date, but you’ll also want to make sure that you’re being an active listener when the other person is speaking too. This means engaging in conversation that’s not just about you. Concentrate on your date’s topic of conversation and follow up with relevant questions and other appropriate responses. Although your responses may relate back to something you’ve similarly experienced in your life, try not to make this a regular habit.
Another way to show your date that you’re an active listener is by paying mind to your body language and other nonverbal forms of communication. Things like facial expressions, eye contact, the angle of your body, and the motions of your head are all legitimate cues on whether or not someone is actually listening to you. Acknowledging these nonverbals will not only prove to your companion that you’re genuinely interested in them, but will also prompt you to be present throughout your date.
5. Keep Conversation Light and Approachable
Despite the fact that truly getting to know someone involves having a deep understanding of their beliefs as well as the good and bad aspects of their life, try not to spill your guts out right away. First dates are meant to be about having fun!
To keep an ongoing, light-hearted conversation avoid the following:
Everyone does it, but no one likes to admit to it. Why? Because it reveals aspects of our own character. Gossiping is a negative conversation that believe it or not, says more about you than it does about the person you’re maliciously talking about.
Politics are almost always controversial when brought up in conversation. No one wants their unique perspective to be argued or tested, especially not on the first date. Since everyone’s beliefs are different from one another, unless you’re attending a political debate or convention, leave the political talk behind.
Talking about your last break-up can get pretty emotional. It’s one thing if it ended mutually on a positive note, but if there are any leftover feelings — angry or sad — it’s best to save the conversation for another day. Expressing negative thoughts toward your previous relationship could cause your date to think you’re not fully over them or lead them to believe they can’t trust you. Think about it — if you talk about your ex that way, who’s to say you wouldn’t talk about your date like that one day too?
At the end of the day, first dates are all about having fun and getting to know each other. Sure you might be nervous, and yes there will be moments of awkwardness, but if you remember these tips you’re guaranteed a great experience and if you’d like, land that the second date!